Now that summer has “officially” begun – at least for me – I feel compelled to take a moment and look back on Spring 2017. I would describe it as a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Let me say, that mid-life crisis thing is REAL! One thing that is contributing to some of the emotional ups and downs is that we are house-hunting which, in my limited experience, seems to bring out both the best and worst, the most positive and negative outlook on life. In me, at least! Not that I’m of the mindset that a house “defines” a person, but, oh, maybe that’s a topic for another day. Continue reading “Spring highlights”
The weeks – now months, yikes! – of silence in this space definitely reflect a sense of inertia and the muted quality of life. I know, I know. I’m starting off on an up note with that idea, but, hey, that’s what was going on! After all of my lofty goals, plans, expectations, promises to commit to something, anything this year, I completely quit training for most of the month of March and then I fired myself from my coach of 3 months. While I saw progress in the pool and on the bike, I continued to nurse a nagging foot injury and just felt like I didn’t give a fuck. This, obviously, didn’t make me an ideal client, which I recognized, so I took myself out of that particular commitment to save myself money and Michelle the time that she was putting into writing training plans that I didn’t follow . Suddenly left without ANY training plan (or racing plan, to boot) and feeling a bit unmoored in other aspects of my life, March was a bit of a bear of a month. I moped a decent amount and spent a good bit of time feeling sorry for myself. Blah blah blah. Continue reading “Springing forward, with hope”
With 2017 well underway at this point (hello February!), we’ve officially hit the mid-winter doldrums at school. Still, I’m looking forward to a break coming up, and a short month will probably feel better too, especially as the days grow longer by small increments.
I’ve mentioned time and again that a full embrace of life in Colorado has come along a bit slower than I expected, and it’s challenged me, but that I need/want to bridge that gap this year. One major piece that will give me more of a sense of stability and direction is now in place (at least for the next 12 months) – the job front! Basically, I feel as though I’ve been looking for a future job for the past 15 months. Even when I’ve had a job (last spring and throughout this academic year), the situation seemed uncertain and left me feeling unsatisfied. I haven’t had a full-time contract for this year, and I signed it fully aware of that situation, but it’s chaffed to not be truly invested in the community and in teaching. A large part of my sense of dissatisfaction stems from the fact that I’ve felt guilty about not contributing to our household finances (this is full disclosure here!), but it also goes deeper than that. At my last school and even the Swiss gig, I felt over,-involved, which I loved. People (teachers) often bitch and moan about that aspect of teaching, but it’s also something that most teachers enjoy – or they wouldn’t do it. For me, being “all in” regarding the school community energizes me while taking a more laissez-faire attitude has the opposite effect, leaving me with a sense of inertia. So, that’s a long explanation to say that I’ve had an offer that for the next 2 years. It will, yes, keep me teaching middle school Spanish (sigh – that is another topic altogether!) but will also give me a sense of stability and focus. Continue reading “That commitment piece”
Now that we are officially a week into 2017, methinks that I should truly reflect on 2016 in broad strokes and think about what that means or how it informs 2017. I won’t moan and bitch yet again about 2016, but I will say that it was not my finest year. I learned a LOT about myself which, at age 44, I suppose is something to celebrate, but I’ll be honest and say that I also wasn’t happy with what I learned. I still get easily “stuck” in a fixed rather than a growth mindset which I find frustrating, and I question that I truly embraced all of the opportunities that came our way. That said, I also felt limited this past year – financially and physically and emotionally – and it was hard to be present and also to look to the future with a positive attitude. Continue reading “Looking at you, 2017!”
Time is a funny thing. There are so many famous quotes and contemplations on the fleeting nature of time, one of the great themes in art and literature. You know, carpe diem and “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may”and all of that. However, in my quotidian life (since we’re talking poetics, might as well throw in an SAT word), I rarely stop and contemplate time with a capital “T”. There are, however, those moments when suddenly we do stop, take notice, examine or suddenly feel the impact of time’s passing. Continue reading “Taking the measurement of time”
Cue the ubiquitous and cliché “It’s spring” post – just in time for Earth Day (which we celebrated by watching Chasing Ice – even more cliché, although the photographer spoke at the school where I’m teaching and I’m teaching his daughter, so it had a personal connection). Also, speaking of new seasons, Game of Thrones tonight?! I’m equal parts excited and terrified – what other show makes you feel that way?
Back to this spring thing… Continue reading “Change in seasons”
While it seems, based on recent posts (hello Thailand!), that life has been one adventure after another, the day-to-day has actually become much more grounded in the past 6-8 weeks. A necessary but rather painful “face-the-music” experience as we settle into Colorado and search for jobs and also our souls. I never expected that leaving California would present so many amazing opportunities and, to be honest, challenges. Just about a year ago, the idea of Switzerland became a reality, but still very much in the idea stage. Who knows what I expected from life post-Switzerland? I didn’t have a concrete idea, but I can’t deny that I had certain expectations. You know, either Michael or I would find a job in Boulder or Denver and we would settle in, life might present a few surprises, but we’d be just fine.