That literally sums up my training this spring. I’m not where I was in October, but to describe my winter and spring training as uneven would be a slight understatement. My first “race” is coming up, and I feel woefully unprepared – or, well, woefully unfit for this particular distance and race. I’ve certainly learned quite a bit from training through colder and darker months, and the main takeaway is that I will never, ever commit to a pretty big race (70.3) for the beginning of May. The timing worked well when we lived in California and I was happy to train throughout the “winter” months, but it’s a different story here in Colorado! Even though it was a mild winter by anyone’s measurement, I found it hard to string together solid weeks of training. Yes, a week here and there, some workouts that felt good, maybe a handful that I’d call “great”, but I lacked overall consistency in training. And, I’ll say that as every weekend came around, I felt torn between skiing, which was what I wanted to do, and training, which is what I needed to do. Continue reading “Training: Two steps forward, a somersault back”
That we are in APRIL? I mean, really? What’s happening?!
I guess that’s what happens to your poor, neglected blog when you just aren’t feeling it. Whatever “it” is. I sort of feel that I should do a Monty Python “not dead yet” impersonation, that I really am still here, but I’ll leave that to funnier people. And, in many ways, life is humming along here, with plenty of ups AND downs. But a quick snapshot of what HAS been going on… Continue reading “How is it even possible?!”
I feel that, as I look at that half-century point which seems to be closing in at a quicker pace every year, there are a multitude of ways that could finish this statement aptly. The grey hairs, of course, springing up on my head (and sometimes elsewhere!); the wrinkles that have appeared, especially over the past two years; and, most significantly, the way that my body just doesn’t seem to “bounce back” these days. This is probably the most notable to me, at least on a daily basis, and the most frustrating. It is, however, the reality of being over 45 – that, at least, is what my trainer/rolfer guy told me this week. Continue reading “You know you’re getting older when…”
I’d rather not gloss over 2017 and make it look like a banner year, since, well, it wasn’t. Not that it was the annus horribilis of 2016 (personally, one of the worst years on the books), but I can’t say that it was *awesome*. However, there were definite highlights amidst a sense of “what am I doing with my life?!”. While I don’t intend to pretend that those blue days or the mean reds didn’t happen, I think that it’s healthier to take a positive view, especially when reflecting on what went right, what worked, what were some of the highlights of an experience, in this case, that “experience” being the year. So, here goes… 2017: Continue reading “Looking back at you, 2017!”
As much as I originally wanted and planned and plotted to write about exciting adventures and all of the cool stuff that I took up when we left California and planted ourselves in Colorado, I find myself totally stuck and not wanting to write, to share, to open up about anything these days. It seems that life has taken a turn or two, and the idea of ‘tales and trails’ is false. To wax poetically about our mountain adventures is absurd because we’ve settled, recently, into a pretty basic and boring life. Not that it’s a bad thing, as some stability after a year or so of uncertainty and, at times, turmoil, has come as a relief. BUT… It also feels exceedingly boring, and I think that there’s a part of me that is embarrassed about the mundane quality of my day-to-day life experience.
Perhaps I should include something in the name of this here blog that truly resonates with my life – “Elevated tales of a mid-life crisis”?
At any rate, the mid-life crisis is REAL. I think – no, I know – that I’ve referred to it here and there, but I’ve tried to treat it with a lighter tone, not making a big deal out of anything, because why would I do that? The truth is, however, I find myself questioning everything in my life, from my decisions that I made back in college (yes) to smaller forks in the road over recent months. There is no ‘straw-that-broke-the-proverbial-camel’s-back’, but a multitude of small grievances and frustrations and an accumulation of self-doubt. I started to look around the internets to see if there were good articles and/or blogs on women and mid-life crises, but apparently most of them touch on the idea of “how to feel more attractive in your 40s”. REALLY? That is supposed to lift my spirits and my existential angst? Rather than getting a nip/tuck here or investing in a new wardrobe, I’ve considered getting yet another dog or two – it seems like a more productive use of time and money. It does not, however, really answer any of the questions brewing in my mind.
I’m thinking that last week, maybe, was the nadir – I had cooked up a nice big pot of lentil butternut squash soup, early in the week and was looking forward to NOT having to worry about dinner for the rest of the week. And then, ahem, someone burned it. Not just a bowl or a small pot, but the entire pot of soup. The one positive is that the house didn’t burn down! But I was so incredibly and ridiculously and illogically upset. It seems that you are not supposed to cry over spilt milk, but burnt soup is a different matter altogether – I shed copious amounts of tears, most of which had nothing to do with the soup and everything to do with things that were intangible but pernicious – negative thoughts, rages against myself, my life and the world.
I can laugh about the episode now, shake my head at myself for being such a fool, but laughing it off doesn’t get at the heart of the matter.
I do plan on making yet another pot of soup this week, something to enjoy over the holidays with family. It’s not quite a peace-offering to myself, but it won’t, at least, feed my anger and despair.
Yes, it’s fall, so this will be one of those ubiquitous (why isn’t there another word for “ubiquitous” which I seem to use every time I feel like a cliché which then makes the word a cliché?) “It’s fall” wordy posts. I swear that I won’t mention sweaters, fleece jackets (although I’m currently wearing a newish Melanzana pullover – fully embracing the cult-like adoration of this Colorado company), pumpkin spice lattes and Halloween. Or I won’t after this! Continue reading “Fall potpourri”
A rhetorical question because I can say, with a resounding YES, that it is, indeed, summer. Apparently it began last week, on the 21st, but I’d say that I kicked it off as soon as school ended. So, right around May 30/June 1. There were, as always, a few loose ends to tie up the school year, but I’m happy to say that it didn’t take me long (maybe 5 minutes?) to switch gears and embrace the summer pace. While we don’t have a major trip planned or anything that seems ambitious, I also can’t complain about lots of small getaways, both near and somewhat further afield, but this will, hopefully, give us the time and space to enjoy the summer. We have good plans with friends and family and will try to take advantage of the mountains when we can. Continue reading “Is it summer or something?”