Springing forward, with hope

The weeks – now months, yikes! – of silence in this space definitely reflect a sense of inertia and the muted quality of life.  I know, I know.  I’m starting off on an up note with that idea, but, hey, that’s what was going on!  After all of my lofty goals, plans, expectations, promises to commit to something, anything this year, I completely quit training for most of the month of March and then I fired myself from my coach of 3 months.  While I saw progress in the pool and on the bike, I continued to nurse a nagging foot injury and just felt like I didn’t give a fuck.  This, obviously, didn’t make me an ideal client, which I recognized, so I took myself out of that particular commitment to save myself money and Michelle the time that she was putting into writing training plans that I didn’t follow .  Suddenly left without ANY training plan (or racing plan, to boot) and feeling a bit unmoored in other aspects of my life, March was a bit of a bear of a month.  I moped a decent amount and spent a good bit of time feeling sorry for myself.  Blah blah blah. Continue reading “Springing forward, with hope”

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Looking at you, 2017!

Now that we are officially a week into 2017, methinks that I should truly reflect on 2016 in broad strokes and think about what that means or how it informs 2017.  I won’t moan and bitch yet again about 2016, but I will say that it was not my finest year.  I learned a LOT about myself which, at age 44, I suppose is something to celebrate, but I’ll be honest and say that I also wasn’t happy with what I learned.  I still get easily “stuck” in a fixed rather than a growth mindset which I find frustrating, and I question that I truly embraced all of the opportunities that came our way.  That said, I also felt limited this past year – financially and physically and emotionally – and it was hard to be present and also to look to the future with a positive attitude. Continue reading “Looking at you, 2017!”

Fall awakening

I know, I know!  I am one of those people who abandoned my blog for, quite literally, months.  I have something of a defense for the “blog” inertia.  I associate the summer months with road trips, biking, hiking, hanging out with family and friends, reading good books, drinking (probably too much), the occasional sunburn, and, in general, a different pace.  While this summer did present a some of the above, in many ways, “twas the summer of our discontent”.  Michael’s bike accident and the fall-out from that left me (well, both of us, really) feeling deeply uncertain, frightened and frustrated about our life, and I had zero desire to touch on those issues via the interwebs.  And, while we did enjoy aspects of our summer, I just couldn’t stomach presenting a polly-anna version of our life, because, to be frank, so much of it sucked.  Yes, we both looked at the bright side (“You only have a fractured pelvis and a bad concussion.  So lucky!”), but we also stressed and worried about the recovery process and our future. Continue reading “Fall awakening”

Boulder 70.3: Highs and lows

Just a note: I wrote this ages ago and then waited and waited for the race photos.  Yes, I’m one of those people who purchases the race photos, depending on the race!  And, yes, Boulder 70.3 actually happened – a few weeks ago now, which, in racing time is like “years ago”.

In some ways, it doesn’t feel *right* to spend 500 or 5,000 words on a navel-gazing ‘race report’.  Additionally, now that 7-8 days since last Saturday have passed, so many details that seemed oh-so important at the time have faded.  That, however, might be a good thing as maybe I’ll be somewhat more brief.

Continue reading “Boulder 70.3: Highs and lows”

Taking the measurement of time

Time is a funny thing.  There are so many famous quotes and contemplations on the fleeting nature of time, one of the great themes in art and literature.   You know, carpe diem and “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may”and all of that.  However, in my quotidian life (since we’re talking poetics, might as well throw in an SAT word), I rarely stop and contemplate time with a capital “T”.  There are, however, those moments when suddenly we do stop, take notice, examine or suddenly feel the impact of time’s passing.   Continue reading “Taking the measurement of time”

If only an infinite number of “if onlys” could change a moment

There aren’t that many moments in my life that I would give ANYTHING to change, but looking back to Sunday afternoon, 3:00 pm, I can’t help but think “If only I had stopped to put on my watch, if only I hadn’t taken a pee, if only I had taken a longer pee, if only we hadn’t made the light for the left-hand turn onto Highway 36 towards Lyons, if only I had been riding faster, if only we had been riding slower, if only, if only, if only”.  I could take those thoughts back further, tracing them back through the day, the weekend, even the months.  Not that it matters, because you can’t accumulate enough to do anything but drive yourself crazy. Continue reading “If only an infinite number of “if onlys” could change a moment”

Colorado Half-Marathon (aka: Suck it up, buttercup)

Ladies and Gentlemen(man – Hello, Rob!): We had a race!  Or participated in a race!  That feels monumental at this point, so I’m giving myself lots of pats on the back.

To be honest, just getting to the starting line was something of a big deal for me, as I contemplated a DNS, especially as the forecast changed in the days leading up to the race, from cloudy, to partly sunny, to rain, to snow, to cloudy again.  After living in California for 10+ years, I am still a fair weather runner. Continue reading “Colorado Half-Marathon (aka: Suck it up, buttercup)”